Working Daddy

Fire in the Back yard

2008-07-16T00:35:00.003-04:00

Finally, after days of nagging my wife we purchased a fire ring. I put the fire ring into the ground and we loaded the children into the car to collect fire wood. We drove out to a little 2 track road to state land. We picked up dead-fall that was already lying on the ground, and put the larger chunks into the trunk. The children really liked going into the woods with daddy. They ask questions about everything, hear unfamiliar noises, and see bugs they have never seen before. We get all the fire wood back to the house, and the children are both anxious to help unload the wood from the trunk of the car. They try to grab the biggest pieces to be the best little helpers they can, but I end up putting almost all of them on the wood pile after they hold it for a few seconds. Later we invited a few people over for a fire, smores, and conversation. The kids listened surprisingly well as it came to the fire pit. Marissa stayed away from it, and Ashton wanted to throw everything in it to burn. I can not imagine where that compulsion comes from (this runs on the male side of my entire family). He did however resist the urge when I brought him closer to the fire and showed him that it was very hot. About an hour after the fire was started rain began to pour from the sky. Kelly and her friend Cheryl stood in the rain by the fire roasting marshmallows so that I could assemble them into smores! 15 minutes later, the rain stopped. We took our positions back around the fire. Both of the kids fell asleep Marissa on Kelly, and Ashton on me. Ashton was so tired he slept past 10 am the next day. I am looking forward to many fires, and a great way to spend time with my family outdoors. I think next maybe I will spend the night with the kids in the tent set up in the back yard.

Cherry Festival day 5

2008-07-10T00:07:00.003-04:00

Today we brought or children to the MSU extention office orchard. The orchard is huge, and almost exclusively dedicated to research on cherries. Both kids were pretty excited that they were going to get to ride on a trailer that was being hauled by a tractor. During this ride, a tour guide told us about different things to do with the trees, the crops the cherries themselves, and the process of harvesting. I found it interesting that some places near by were hit with frost 2 nights in a row and lost almost 60% of their cherry crops. These farmers would spend more on pesticides to spray the remaining fruit than they would be able to recuperate by harvesting what they didn't loose. In order to save money, they spray a chemical on the trees to make them drop all of their fruit on the ground! The farmers are done for the year!

After that depressing bit of information the tour was over. We took the kids a hundred feet or so from where the tractor dropped us off. There the kids were allowed to pet 2 ducks. They loved that. The lady tending the ducks showed us 2 eggs that they laid. They were nearly the size of a baseball. The only thing that I could think of was, where I could get duck eggs for breakfast! The kids moved on to pet a sheep. They really could have cared less about the sheep.

Now that the animals are done with, we wash our hands and move into the building. Here they are set up with samples of almost anything cherry you can think of. Cherry salsa, cherry BBQ, cherry coffee, cherry iced tea, cherry lemonade, cherry mustard, cherry honey, even black berry chocolate fudge. For those of you that have never been here before, cherry can literally be put into almost anything and taste good. Once we made our way through all the sample tables we headed home. The kids had a good time, and today was great use of a vacation day from work.

National Cherry Festival

2008-07-07T20:36:00.005-04:00

Its that time of year again. The time of year when all of Traverse City goes absolutely nuts. The National Cherry Festival happens this week. This year the 4th of July was not part of the cherry festival. The festival runs from the 5th to the 12th. This year because of the separation, the "fudgie" traffic has started early. (for those of you that don't know "fudgies" are tourists from other places that usually blow large amounts of money in downtown shops, and usually are seeking fudge. Chances are if you don't know what a fudge is.. you are one.) The tourists started to roll in July 1st! A large amount of tourists will be in Traverse City until the end of festival. Do not expect to get anywhere in Traverse City fast for the next week. Cherry festival is a great time, and I urge everyone to come to see it at least once. Vendors, a carnival, an outdoor music stage, and FOOD. The Cherry festival is a family friendly event. I will update this post later with pictures from the festival.

Blue Angels Airshow

2008-07-07T18:28:00.003-04:00

The last couple of days have been very busy (sorry I have not gotten a chance to blog for a few days). The Blue Angels have come to town as part of our National Cherry Festival here in Traverse City. The rest of the air show was not very impressive, just a couple of planes flying close together, and doing nothing. The blue angels however, were really cool. I really like the part where 2 planes fly at each other head on, twist sideways to avoid each other, then twist back. CLICK HERE TO SEE the 2006 Flight in Florida. Incase anyone has any doubts about how skilled these pilots are. This video shows how close they actually fly from inside the cockpit of one of their jets. CLICK HERE.
The kids really liked the planes. They zoomed right over the top of our house while they practiced. Ashton and Marissa would jump up and down yelling airplane! Durring the actual airshow they seemed pretty antsy. We had been sitting there to get a good spot a couple hours early, and brought luch with us to help pass the time. The airshow did start late, and was pretty long by the time it was all done.

Away From Home (update)

2008-07-07T18:24:00.004-04:00

Today I finally have a few minutes to update on daddy time with my children. I have decided that I will take a few days of vacation to spend time with my family. I will be off work completely 4 days this week. I really hope things go well. Some days when I am home with the kids, they spend the entire day just picking at each other for no reason. They argue in the car, they take toys away from each other, and really seem to be not at all happy that they have to share me with each other. I am going to try to start setting aside some time to do things with them individually even if it is just an hour. Maybe that will help keep them from fighting.

Away from home

2008-06-28T08:50:00.003-04:00

This morning I had to drive for work from Traverse City to cadillac, then to West Branch. I had to be in Cadillac at 9am. Unfortunatly this means I was required to leave this morning before my children woke up. Ashton was very upset to wake up and find me not home. I only got to see them yesterday morning before work. By the time I was done yesterday they were in bed. I feel horrible, and will be spending the remainder of the day, in between clients, trying to figure out a good way to make it up to them. I will have to make a similar trip in 2 days. I hopefully will be home tonight before they go to sleep. I will update on the progress of figuring out daddy time with my kids this week.

Bedtime Brawl

2008-06-26T16:19:00.003-04:00

Do you ever feel like putting your children to bed has become a fight? Most of us have. Kelly and I tried a tip that we originally saw on supernanny. This tip however, is not for the faint of heart. You put them into their bed, say goodnight, close the door, and walk away. Now if your kids are anything like my kids they will almost immediatly find a reason not to go to bed. They come up with alot of very good reasons too. I left my bear in the basement. I am thirsty. I want a snack. I am hungry. (this one usually comes after asking for a snack) You simply tell them time for bed. put them back in, and close the door. The next time they get out, tell them bed, and say nothing else. Tuck them back in, and close the door. No mater how big of a fit they throw, keep placeing them back in bed, closing the door, and walking away. We found this works best for us when we do not have anything planned for directly after. Don't attempt this right before you watch a movie, or intend to leave the kids with a baby sitter. The kids simply need to know that you need business. We both took turns putting them back into bed, about every 5 times or so they get out of bed. Within 15 minutes or so, both kids were fast asleep. I just thought I would share this with everyone. Remember if you start this, you MUST STICK WITH IT!

Fun for kids. For dad...not so much

2008-06-21T17:56:00.003-04:00

This week we decided to purchase our kids a swing set. The swing set that we purchased looked pretty tame, and is available from Walmart for $119.00. Click here to go to it. We get this earlier in the day while we had the budget rental truck for the new Queen size bed set that we purchased from ArtVan. CLICK HERE TO SEE ( We slept on it last night, and the thing is amazing!) After a short insurance enrollment in town, I decided to assemble this for the kids. I went outside with the kids to do this with them, while Kelly attended a Lia Sophia party that one of here friends invited her to. I started this about 5:30 pm. I should have known that I was going to be in trouble, as soon as I started to read the direction. (yes, some of us guys really will do this!) There was no parts list to lay-out what should have come with it. I find the top bar and put the leg supports on. I am having a lot of trouble bolting this on, as the "proper" nuts and bolts for this spot on the swing set do not want to tighten all the way. I also had to use a "C" clamp to get a couple of the bolts in. Some of the bolts that came with the set are not long enough for the application they were included for. Everything I could muster did not tighten this all the way down. I am going to have to purchase a new set of bolts for a few spots on the swing set to insure that this is tightened down all the way. I get all the legs on, the support bar for the end, and the swing chains. I put the teeter-tauter together, and I get ready to attach it to the swing set. The poll that the teeter-tauter goes on is in the wrong spot. I re-read the instructions wondering how I got the pole placed so horribly wrong. Turns out, the instructions do not tell you the pole needs to be in a certain spot. I had to take apart half of the swing set and again muscle the bolts back in. Most of the way through the process Kelly came home, and brought the kids back into the house. This was around 9pm. I decided to skip the teeter-tauter for the night, after finding out that it needs to be cemented, or buried in place. I moved on to the slide. The bolts fit OK on the slide, but again only 1 of the slide rails line up right with the mounting holes. I take the slide apart and start again. I ended up getting eaten alive by mosquito's, while assembling the slide in the dark. I came into the house around 11pm feeling defeated by a heap of metal and plastic. I spent 6 hours trying to put it together, and still had to go out the following day and spend another hour putting the teeter-tauter in the ground! The look on our kids faces when they got turned loose on the unsuspecting play set was priceless, and worth every minute of frustration for assembly. That is not to say however, that the difficulty with assembling this product is excusable. Other people have had very similar issues with the same product found here on Walmart's website. This product is a good buy, but before you assemble do yourself a favor and purchase new nuts, and bolts for the product. You will be happy you did.

Minority Is An Understatement!

2008-06-18T17:49:00.003-04:00

I originally planned to post a list of links to help other men that take an active roll in raising their children. There are a ton of resources online. The only problem is that EVERY one that I could find is geared toward women. Parents.com from the editors of the popular Parents magazine is written for women. They should really change the name to fathersDontExist.com. That is exactly how I was feeling when I read through some of their information.

I know that I am not the only man that is really a father to his children. I understand that most men would not subscribe to parents magazine, but really the name conveys that they are a source of information for both parents not just women. I have become very tired of having to pick through womanly advice to find just 1 gem that seems to be written impartially and is practical for a man to implement. Men de-stress in different ways than women. So techniques that some of the articles talk about dealing with your children, and not getting stressed out just do not work for men.

This point is displayed very well in the book "Why Mars & Venous Collide" (to purchase this book click HERE, Select Books and type the title). Author John Gray explains how women de-stress by talking, connecting, and processing. John says “Women mistakenly expect men to react and behave the way women do..." Men de-stress by zoning out, shifting gears, and detaching from the days troubles. Just as women talking recharges the chemical oxytosin, Men zoning out and detaching recharges testosterone. Everyone feels less stressed when their chemical reserves are fully in balance. Men actually deplete their testosterone levels by listening to his partners feelings! I am not saying that men should not listen to women. I am simply stating the reason that most men tend to zone out in front of the television at night, and tend not to hear their partners, children, animals, and pretty much anything else that does not shake the house. Kelly will fully agree that I am guilty of this. I certainly do not do this because I choose to. This has just been something that has always happened, and until now I did not even know why. I have only read a few passages of this book online, but I am going to put this on my MUST READ list. Alright I'll admit that this book is the only thing on my must read list (mostly because I just started it), but this book has my interest peaked. Back on subject, I think that men would more likely seek advice for things that are parenting related online. Men just do not typically talk to each other about parenting types of things. The fear of being unmanly, or ridiculed by their guy friends prevents most men from seeking advice from a friend. Most men however, will seek out information online from the privacy of their home. Someone should set up a website dedicated to being an online resource to PARENTS. The website should be sectioned FOR MOM, FOR DAD, and a general section where advice that works for both men and women can be found! Unequal treatment is not just done on the Internet. During the preschool interview that I blogged about the other day, I was asked where I worked. My wife was asked if she worked outside the home. Never in my life have I been asked as a father If I worked outside the home, but my wife is always asked!

Unequal treatment of men in the realm of parenting is insulting. The only thing that insults me more is a public restroom that includes a changing station in the women's room, and not the men's, but this is another post entirely.

Leaving Work

2008-06-18T08:39:00.006-04:00

Kelly and my two children pick me up pretty frequently from work, as we only have one car. So around 9pm they show up in the store. Firstly they run way ahead of Kelly racing to come and see me. They poke behind my counter and say "Hi daddy" as cute as they possibly can. I give each of them a hug and continue with finishing my closing responsibilities. While I am doing this they take the oportunity to rip apart the empty pop bottle basket, until Mom takes them shopping. Everyone but me heads off into the store to pick up some last minute grocery items. I finish my job, and meet up with everyone in the U-Scan Isle. I am really starting to think that all children have a radar for anything that will suck up your loose change. We try to sneak the children my the penny horses, as we are both extreamly tired. The children spot them and bolt for the horse. There is no turning back now, they are already climbing on by themselves. We load both kids onto the horse and Ashton proudly spends his penny on the "horsey ride". We peel both children from the sandie horse before they brek us one penny at a time, by distracting them with "Dora the Explorer" animal crackers. Distractions are the best! While leaving Meijer Ashton realizes that he does not have a penny anymore and is a little bit upset. I find myself feeling the same way about half-way through every payday! We explain to him that he spent his penny for the horse ride. He does not like it but seems to kind of understand. I took a picture of the children with my phone on the horse.

Stop Angry Fits UPDATE

2008-06-18T08:39:00.005-04:00

As promised I am updating the results of my experiment. The original post can be found here. I expected that getting to try out my experiment would not take very long, as my children seem to throw a fit about everything that does not go their way. Last night after getting home from work Marissa sat on the floor and started a screaming fit when she was asked to leave the kitchen. Our kitchen is kind of small for 4 people to cram in without sitting down. She started to scream with her face covered, and I started to jump up and down repeatedly. Both of my children and Kelly gave me a very strange look. I did not tell Kelly yet what I had planned. I just kept jumping away. In under 30 seconds the kids were jumping away with me in the kitchen and the entire family was laughing and giggling. I stopped jumping and enthusiasticly said "Lets get out of the kitchen". Both kids ran for the living room! Shortly after the nightly fight over bed time started to happen. My son, as usual, did not want to go to bed. He flopped limply to the ground and started to kick a little bit. I began to jump again. He didn't seem to want to participate at first. I kept jumping, and reached my hand down to him and helped him stand up. He did stand up willingly with help. We all were jumping in the living room a few seconds later. The kids were laughing. As soon as I stopped jumping, I grabbed both kids by the hand and walked with them to their bedroom. They got into bed without another fit. Ashton did ask pretty pathetically to stay up, but didn't push the subject further. Go ahead try this with your kids! I am very happy this worked. Very soon there will be no more fits in the grocery store!

Stop angry fits with your toddler

2008-06-17T20:48:00.004-04:00

I just read an article that has given me an idea. The article in the included link is about destressing. Parents of young children can certainly use a lot of destressing. Aparently jumping rope is a good way to reduce stress because it raises the level of "feel good" endorfins and the repetition of jumping relaxes your body. Laughter reduces the level of cortisol, a hormone that is responsible for stress. I think the next time my 3 year old is throwing a fit, I am going to just start to jump up and down when I feel myself getting stressed out. Provided I am correct, my son will give me a rather confused look, stand up, and start to jump with me. A few seconds later, he will think it is quite silly and start to laugh. Childrens laughter is contagious, as usualy his silliness should make me start to laugh also. Hopefuly this will destress both of us enough to stop the kicking and screaming on the floor. I would be even willing to bet he will stop it also. ;-)

Alright so I don't exactly kick and scream on the floor, but sometimes I feel like fighting with him is exactly the same thing. I will try this out and post back the results of my little experiment.

For now you can find the article that spured this experiment here courtesy of CNN.com

Smelling Coffee Reduces Fatigue?!

2008-06-17T20:36:00.002-04:00

Apparently the scientists are at it again. What they have found is yet another good reason to be careful about what we inhale, eat, and put on our skin. Scientists have found that while testing sleep deprived rats, rats that were exposed to the smell of coffee after sleep deprivation produced a special protein that reduces stress. Scientists further found 17 genes that reacted to the stimulating fumes of the preciouse bean.
Read the full Article @ physorg.com

Coffee and Chocolate will help you live longer!

2008-06-17T20:26:00.005-04:00

Chocolate lovers rejoice! New research has shown that coffee cuts the growth rate of cancer in half! We need to add this to the reasons so many people already like chocolate! Reasearch also shows that Coffee drinkers live slightly longer than non-coffee drinkers even though we live a poorer lifestyle in terms of healthy habbits, like eating, drinking, and exercise.
Read the Article Here @ popsci.com.

Preschool update

2008-06-17T13:26:00.001-04:00

This is an update from the post here.
Durring our appointment Ashton was vey well behaved. He grabbed books that i read to him while me and kelly filled out the paperwork. The interview took place in a rather large room with long table in a "U" shape. We were interview on one side if the U while another child was taken care of on the other side. The other child was running around everywhere trying to rip things off the wall. We all as parents have days that we want to rip out our own hair, but if you want to gain a new apreciation for how normal your children are take them somewhere there will be other kids. I will just about guarantee that you will find another child that seems like a total monster compared to your child. You find yourself thinking "Wow! I am glad that my child does not act like that". And "I guess they are not so bad after all!" You will leave feeling more patient, and better about yourself as a parent because you have taught your child not to act like that. Even though our children do not always show it, they learn by example. Children see EVERYTHING. This includes things you would rather they not see. You have to be the adult you want your children to be or else they will follow your examples and become a mini you.

Preschool

2008-06-17T09:06:00.000-04:00

Today I get to go into work later than usual. My son is extreamly excited as he gets to interview to go to preschool! He has been waiting to go for at least a year now. The current appartment that we are in has a bus that comes by every morning. Every morning he is in the window wanting to know when he gets to go to school. My wife and I told him that he was going to finally get to go, and his face lit up. My wife is currently filling out paperwrk while he plays with the toys in the lobby. I can not help but be excited for him. There is a certain sense of pride that comes with watching your children acomplish something so important to them. My son is taking the first step toward building the skills he will use the rest of his life. We are going in right now.

Dad Gear

2008-06-16T11:54:00.005-04:00

I have found a website that other dads might appreciate. The website is called dadgear.com. Dadgear.com specializes in great baby products geared toward men with an active life style. There is a lot of cool designs from Tribal, Skulls, and camo even. The diaper bags have great options like stroller leashes so you don't have to strap up and push at the same time. I was really impressed with the Diaper Vests. These vests are stylish and extreamly functional. There is room for bottles at the waistband on the sides, interior pockets for diapers, a spot for an mp3 player with headphone routing. My personal favorite is the interior pocket for a travel wipe pack that is accessible from the exterior breast pocket. Talk about useful!
I really recommend checking out this site. The site has an easy layout, and the products all have a video demo of the products. Dadgear.com stuff has more to it than meets the eye! I give dadgear.com 4 out of 5 stars!

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Fathers Day - A Great Reminder

2008-06-16T11:41:00.002-04:00

Fathers Day weekend is now over. I had a great time with my family this weekend. My wife, two children, and I went to my In-laws to celebrate Fathers Day. Days like yesterday really make realize how much I appreciate my family, and give me a renewed energy to continue to work as often as I do. Everyone needs a reminder as to why we work so hard. Every morning my children ages 3 and 2 do not want daddy to go to work. They pout and ask “daddy why don’t you want to stay home with me?” My children are too young to understand the catch 22 of the working world. Several years will go by before they recognize what paying for a place to live, and all the bills entails. When my children finally realize the sacrifice that I make for them everyday, they will be busy walking out to work every morning, with their children asking the very same question that they did when they were 2 and 3.

For me Father’s Day is a nice reminder of why I work. I work to give my family what I think they deserve. I work to be an example for my children, so that they may develop a good work ethic. I work for my personal pride in a job well done. I work trying to accomplish the impossible, retiring before my children realize that it’s not cool to hang out with your parents. I want to stop working before I miss all the small opportunities in life that mean everything to them. I want to walk through the woods with them finding “gross bugs”, and help them smell every little “flower” along the way even if they really are weeds. I want to be there to teach my children why the sky is blue, and watch clouds roll across making familiar shapes in the sky. I want to be the best dad in the world, but its time to go to work. When I come home tonight my children will be asleep. Tomorrow they will wake up excited to see me, and happy to spend time with me. While at breakfast, one of my children will ask “are you home today daddy?” “Nope” I’ll have to reply “daddy has to leave for work” I will need to give each one of them a hurried hug and kiss as I rush out the door late for that last thing I want to do.

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